Captain Falcon CrackFic 3
by ClashSmashMac369
Summary: The 3rd itteration of the captain’s CRAZY adventures, jam-packed with weirdness, more narrators and—of course—plenty of falcon pawnches.


Are we on yet?

"YES!"

Wait, really?!

"NO!"

Screw you.

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

 **5 minutes later…**

…are we on _now_?

"YES! Sho mii ya moovz!"

Wait, we've been on for 5 minutes?!

"YES!"

Why didn't you tell me earlier?!

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

A _joke?!_

"YES!"

It's not very funny!

"YES!"

*sigh.* Well, let's start then.

"YES!"

*ahem*

"h3y gUyz iTs meE tEh m rY b Rry! nd 2dAy—"

Wait, who the hell is the Mary barr—

"Falcon…"

But we haven't even started yet!

" **PAWWWWWNCH!"**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

…well then… that was… quick.

"YES!"

._.

So moving on, welcome to captain falcon part 3! I'm your host, Hue Jass, and this is my co-host, captaaaaaaaiiiiiiin falcoooooooooooon!

*insert clapping sound effects here*

"YES!"

Great! So, first of all—

"YES! Sho mii ya moovz! YES!"

Yes, you're a co-host. Get over it.

*captain falcon's face turns blood red* "falcown…"

No! I'm sorry! You can be the host if you—

" **PAWWWWWWWNCH!"**

Why is my name "the dicktayter?"

*falcon approved.* "YES!"

Ah, well. Anyway, let's get captain falcon vs. captain America on death battle. I wanna see it!

"YES!"

See? Even captain falcon agrees! Make it happen, MatPat!

"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

Ok, I'm done.

"Falcown…"

Oh crap! Not again!

" **PAWWWWWWWNCH!"**

Wow. The dicktayter was an idiot.

"YES!"

I'm so much better. "The astronaut" is sooooooo much better than "the dicktayter."

"Falcown…"

No! You'll get my dress dirty!

" **PAWWWWWWNCH!"**

Okey!

"YES!"

Okey!

"NESS!"

PK THUNDAH!

"Woah!"

WAAAAAAAAH!

"YES!"

PK FIYA!

"WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA!"

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

Okey! PK FREEZE!

"Falcown…"

"WHOA!"

" **DOUBLE PAWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

...I'm not even gonna ask why ness was the last narrator.

"YES!"

Also, we seem to have a special guest! Allow me to introduce, Crash… bandicoot?

"YES!"

"WHOA!"

This is going to be a long day.

"YES!"

*sigh* so, crash bandicoot… what brings you here today?

"WHOA!"

Of course.

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

What's there to be _excited_ about?

"Falcown…."

Yes! Take me out of my misery!

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

"YES!"

YES!

"YES!"

YES!

"YES!"

YES!

"YES!"

YES!

"YES!"

YES!

"YES!"

Falcown…

"Falcown…"

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

*world blows up because 2 falcon punches collided*

 **6 hours later…**

Okey, so ness used his psi powers to put the world back together (somehow). It's a miracle that we're even still alive. But, I have to ask, why were there two of you, and, more importantly, why was your clone narrating?

"YES! Sho mii ya moovz! YES!"

Ooooooohhhhhhhh. Ok. By the way, me and captain falcon are in the hospital. That falcon punch collision honestly should've killed him. And yet here we are.

"YES!"

Yep. Uh… How _are_ you alive, anyway?

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

So you just showed the grim reaper your moovz and he let you live?

"YES!"

Huh. I wanna try! Hmmm… *kicks captain falcon in the shins*

*C. Falcon's face turns a dangerous shade of red* "Falcown…"

The true test.

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

It didn't work. The falcon punch was too strong.

It's-a me! Mario!

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

Okie dokie! *shoots a fireball at C. Falcon*

"Falcown…"

Oh no!

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Our narrators are dropping like flies!

"YES!"

Am… am I next?

"YES!"

W8, wut?!

"Falcown…"

Oh no!

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

Zzzzzzzzzz…

"YES!"

Zzzzzzzzzz…

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

Zzzzzzzzzz…

"Cum awn!"

Zzzzzzzzzz…

"Falcown…"

Huh? Wuh—?

" **PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!"**

Y'know, I almost feel bad for that last narrator. He was just trying to sleep, and he got falcon punched for it.

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

Well… yeah, true. He really _shouldn't_ have been sleeping on the job.

"YES!"

Also, 2 things: one, am I really the 2nd to last narrator?!

"YES!"

WHY?! …actually, never mind. 2nd of all, am I the only narrator with real combat skills?

"YES!"

Huh. Well, I guess I'll have to make do with this idiot.

"Falcown…"

" **PAAAAAAAWNCH!"**

HOW DID THAT HIT ME?! I WAS BEHIND YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!"

Wow.

"YES!"

…...halp me…

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

someone HELP!

*narrator runs away while flailing his arms in every direction*

"SHO MII YA MOOVZ! YES! SHO MII YA MOOVZ!"

(Producer: WE'VE GOT A RUNNER! WE'VE GOT A RUNNER!)

"YES!"

(EVERYONE AFTER HIM!)

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!

"Falcown…"

where the heII did you come from?!

" **PAWWWW—"**

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

…

"..."

…..

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

…I'm not even going to ask what happened back there.

"YES!"

…...okey, fine. What happened?

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

Uh-huh…

"Come awn!"

Oh-kaaaaay…

"YES! Falcown—PAWNCH!"

Wait, why would you—

"Falcon KICK!"

Oh gosh! That's—

"Sho mii ya moovz!" *splash*

That's so brutal!

"YES!"

Who knew a guy could be scarred for life in a matter of 30 seconds?

"YES!"

…whelp, moving on.

"YES!"

So….. what now?

"Falcown…"

'Course.

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

Hey falcon!

"YES?!"

Who says "pk thundah"?

"NESS!"

See?! SEE?! I TOLD you he learned a new word! I CALLED IT!

"YES!"

All right, I'm satisfied. You can falcon punch me now.

"Falcown…"

Wait, that's not gonna hit—

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

What is that hit box?!

It's bull crap.

"Yes?"

The hit box, you idiot!

"Falcown…"

AH, SHlT!

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

Two narrators left—myself included.

"YES!"

*sigh* let's make this quick. *kicks captain falcon in the nuts*

*C. Falcon's face turns so red the narrators brain can't comprehend how red it is* "Falcown…"

Uh-huh.

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

Quick! Cue the end card!

 **The End**

RlP, fellow narrators.

"Falcown…"

RIP.

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

 **That's all, folks!**


End file.
